Let's Talk, America.

Oh, yes, we MUST talk about it. 

It’s time we had a conversation. A discourse. A national discussion on this issue. After all, social media has taught us that there are two kinds of people in the world: those who display their social awareness on Facebook, and the cold, heartless automatons who don’t. We are a nation of cowards, as one prolific talker once said, because we simply don’t talk about it. We’re not afraid to solve the problem; we’re only afraid to talk about it. 

We MUST talk about it, even though we rarely talk of anything else—precisely because the talking we’re doing isn’t the RIGHT talking. We must talk, and talk and talk some more….until the other side talks the same talk as we. Our talking must match our hashtags and profile picture changes as symbols of our soft hearts—hearts softened by talking. 

Oh, please oh PLEASE—let’s talk about it. 

Never mind the talking that’s already been done. Much of it, true, has been one-sided and condescending to the majority of our citizens. But until they talk as we do, their talk is invalid and backwards. They must be made to understand—and can only be made to understand through further talking. If it seems as if the talk we’re talking has all happened before, never mind that. 

Tomorrow, some other Incident will grab the headlines. The media will put its hook into our collective nose and snap our collective head around to look at it….and will demand that we TALK. 

We will talk as though no talking has ever happened before except THIS talking. We will talk with earnestness and zeal and passion—as though no other side exists in the conversation. And if someone dares to disagree with the talk we’re talking, we’ll simply accuse them of not wanting to talk. After all, that’s the unpardonable sin, right? Pretending that the time for talking has passed? 

Let’s talk. 

We can and MUST talk about this. 

And while we’re talking about THIS, on the other side of the country will be—SQUIRREL! Now we must talk about this, too. 

The rural rubes and slack-jawed rednecks, their teeth stained by Copenhagen and carbohydrates, display their ignorance by refusing to be led by the nose to react to the next Incident. They refuse their just penance by refusing to talk. But we—WE—are enlightened. We are cultured. We are sensitive. Because we talk. 

Yes, we MUST talk. About it. 

After all, talking is its own end. Who would be ignorant enough to see talking as an activity that should necessarily lead to solutions? Such hillbillies. Talking is for talking. If we solved any problems, we’d be finished talking. And that can NEVER be. 

As long as we’re talking, then, please don’t speak to us of solutions. Don’t try to “solve” the problem of the latest Incident. Sometimes, we just want to talk. We don’t want that hyper-masculine “problem-solving” paradigm spoiling our sensitive talk-fest. Talk we must, and talk we will. And he who will not talk with us deserves not our validation.

Yes, we must talk. And talk. And talk some more. Let the same things be talked that were talked the last time. The last TEN times. Let us talk as though we’ve never talked before. Let our Orwellian insistence on scrubbing the history of our last ten talks be the driving force behind fruitfully fruitless talking on an even grander scale. 

We. Must. Talk. About. It. 

About it—we must talk. 

Let the talking commence. 

And never end.